There are few things in this world that truly shock me. Thanks to the glorious Internet I have seen things that would put hair on most men’s chests, but nothing really gave me more than a mild jolt of surprise ie. goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, rofl.jpg, & tubgirl (Google it, or on second thought don’t). I think I didn’t get much out of it because I didn’t see those things actually happen in real life, maybe through the computer screen they are not really real somehow.
Now with that eloquent intro, I can transition nicely to tell you all about our recent trip to Thailand. Once you arrive there, it starts out innocent enough, you get off the plane meet up with your tour guides, go to the hotel, eat some food and enjoy a nice theater Thai dance show complete with live elephants. Then the next day while you are riding in the van, the tour guides ask if you want to see some “special” shows, telling you a little about them and they sound a bit risque. So you agree and figure that since you are not in Thailand everyday that it might be fun to see something a little more playful than you could get back home. The tour guide said, “If you don’t see it, you’ll probably regret it, but if you do see it, you’ll probably regret it.” I can now say that statement is entirely accurate. If you agree, your fate will be sealed, you will never be the same person you were before you came to this strange land of Thai.
I’ll set the stage for you, there were 3 different “special shows” to see, but you get the best discount if you see all three, so of course you agree to the best deal which appeals to your inner cheapskate and curious cat at the same time.
Show 1- A normal enough strip tease show… Mostly a yawn, but has some other fun thrown in with some tourists being taken on stage for not so private lap dances, ending with the stripper trying to strip the tourist too 
Show 2- Now this show begins with shared male/female nudity and then all of a sudden the people were having live sex on stage in front of more than 100 people in an arena. After the sex, there were a parade of different acts consisting of people controlling their orifices to shoot darts, ping pong balls, and myriad of other disturbing imagery. I think the worst thing about this show wasn’t the performers or anything they did, the worst thing in my mind was the people’s reactions. During the live sex portion of the show, the performers don’t do it only on the stage, they actually go into the audience and have sex on audience members. This is where the problem comes in with the people, instead of being reserved or repulsed, they begin to get into it and start grabbing the bodies of the performers and squeezing and screaming, men and women alike, all ages.
Show 3- What do a mouse, bird, turtle, and some goldfish have in common? Give up… They have all been up the hoohaa of some Thai girls and brought out in front of a live audience for their dismay/amusement. This would be the most disturbing of all three shows for the fact that the women seemed to be the most degraded and objectified in this show by making them shove things inside themselves. The mood was a bit different in this show, with my jaw on the floor, I saw many alive and inanimate objects go in places that they shouldn’t normally go. These images are forever burned into my memory and no matter what I do, I don’t think I’ll ever forget them.
Over the course of the tour, I saw many beautiful places, like the King’s palace, the Parliament building, and the beautiful ocean and city of Pattaya nestled on it’s white sandy shores. However, I am not the same disconnected person anymore, just seeing something a little surprising over the Internet. People have done some crazy things just a few feet from me and I have truly experienced “Shock and Awe”. I don’t think I can ever own goldfish again without thinking of how those fishes lives might be different in Thailand. 
